But this is the weird part. They were totally in the same bag they were when I bought them home. the knot on the bag was untouched, and all the presents inside were still wrapped. I found the bag within ten feet of the last spot I saw it in. It had been shoved under the bed and clothing was piled in front of it... The worst part about it was that I knew that Addie wasn't even the culprit for hiding it. I honestly think it had just gotten lost in the shuffle.
Soooo, not only did she NOT find them, unwrap them, and play with them and then hide them.... I think she didn't even know what we were talking about with the whole ordeal- like she didn't even get what we were asking her when I'd asked her if she'd taken adn played with the presents. So she got blamed for this whole thing, and she ACCEPTED the blame, but she didn't even do it! It's one thing when I catch mi kid lying to me to cover up something bad she did... But what do I do when my kid fibs about doing something bad that she didn't even do??? How do I say I'm sorry and how do I explain to her what had happened? How do I explain this whole thing? This is something I NEVER expected to have to go through as a parent! It's not like she did anything "bad". WHAT DO I DO???
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I don't know what to do!!!
I hope a million people respond to this entry... I really need some parenting advise. This is the only reason I'm posting this early in the morning (some of you may have noticed that I usually post during the wee hours of the middle of the night... so this is really early for me!)
Here's the scoop.
Abigail's birthday was on the 18th (yeah Abigail!!! 2 years old!!!) We had a bag-full of presents waiting to be wrapped. When it came time to wrap the gifts, they were no where to be found. I mean NO WHERE. We scoured the whole house/garage/and cars- to no avail. After hours of searching, I asked Addie (for the second time) if she was SURE she didn't find them and play with them. She said, "Well, (in a timid voice) I maybe sort-of played with them a little bit cause I wanted to play with them sooo bad..." I calmed my immediate angry reaction and asked her where she was when she played with them, and if she had hidden them somewhere... to which she responded that she did hide them but she couldn't remember where she hid them. I asked her if she had opened all the wrappers (thinking that if she did we should have at least found a paper-trail of the evidence... thinking that she surely wasn't smart enough to hide the paper too!!!) She nodded her head "yes" that she did open them. This is when I finally let my anger loose. She got in sooo much trouble. We searched the whole house and all outside again, this time with "secret hiding places" in mind. Nothing. I was FURIOUS.
Well, Abigail's party came and went. Luckily, she got a couple gifts from the friends invited, and her Dora cake had some figurines on it she hasn't been able to put down... But I still kept the furiousness inside. I couldn't believe Bird didn't get any presents on her birthday and that her sister was the cause!!!
Today the presents were found.
But this is the weird part. They were totally in the same bag they were when I bought them home. the knot on the bag was untouched, and all the presents inside were still wrapped. I found the bag within ten feet of the last spot I saw it in. It had been shoved under the bed and clothing was piled in front of it... The worst part about it was that I knew that Addie wasn't even the culprit for hiding it. I honestly think it had just gotten lost in the shuffle.
Soooo, not only did she NOT find them, unwrap them, and play with them and then hide them.... I think she didn't even know what we were talking about with the whole ordeal- like she didn't even get what we were asking her when I'd asked her if she'd taken adn played with the presents. So she got blamed for this whole thing, and she ACCEPTED the blame, but she didn't even do it! It's one thing when I catch mi kid lying to me to cover up something bad she did... But what do I do when my kid fibs about doing something bad that she didn't even do??? How do I say I'm sorry and how do I explain to her what had happened? How do I explain this whole thing? This is something I NEVER expected to have to go through as a parent! It's not like she did anything "bad". WHAT DO I DO???
But this is the weird part. They were totally in the same bag they were when I bought them home. the knot on the bag was untouched, and all the presents inside were still wrapped. I found the bag within ten feet of the last spot I saw it in. It had been shoved under the bed and clothing was piled in front of it... The worst part about it was that I knew that Addie wasn't even the culprit for hiding it. I honestly think it had just gotten lost in the shuffle.
Soooo, not only did she NOT find them, unwrap them, and play with them and then hide them.... I think she didn't even know what we were talking about with the whole ordeal- like she didn't even get what we were asking her when I'd asked her if she'd taken adn played with the presents. So she got blamed for this whole thing, and she ACCEPTED the blame, but she didn't even do it! It's one thing when I catch mi kid lying to me to cover up something bad she did... But what do I do when my kid fibs about doing something bad that she didn't even do??? How do I say I'm sorry and how do I explain to her what had happened? How do I explain this whole thing? This is something I NEVER expected to have to go through as a parent! It's not like she did anything "bad". WHAT DO I DO???
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
Wow. That's a tough one. I guess I would just apologize to Addie and tell her it wasn't her fault and try to find out what she was thinking when you were asking her all the questions about the presents. I don't know what else you can really do. Isn't it crazy when these random parenting issues come up that you never could have imagined or dreamed of?? Good luck!
Oh Man!! Poor Addy and Abigail and you! That is rough. I guess really all you can do is apologize and try to explain the whole thing to her so she understands why you were mad and why she got in trouble, and that even parents make mistakes. Maybe she said she opened and played with them because she thought about doing it. I think sometime my kids have a hard time separating what happens in their heads from what really happens, kind of like when dreams sometimes seem real. Anyway, good luck! Kids are very forgiving. Happy Birthday to Abigail!! I can't believe our babies are two!
oh wow, I'm so sad for Addie but trying not to laugh out of stress at the same time, this is SUCH A TOUGHIE.
I would definitely apologize to Addie and tell her you did something wrong, and then I would tell her what you did *and why you did it* and explain that because she said she played you believed her. Use this as an opportunity to teach her to ask questions when she doesn't understand something, and to not say what she thinks you want to hear (because if you asked her repeatedly she probably got confused and thought you wanted her to say she did!)
If you take the time to say sorry to her and explain yourself in terms she can understand, she'll be better at saying sorry and explaining herself in the future.
Good luck!
I would ground her for lying about playing with toys that she never saw. She deserves to be punished for her obvious desire to send you guys on a giant goose chase.
Nate says he thinks she is doing some reverse psychology thing on you, but we know nothing as our teo children are totally fuera de control.
BTW- I had a Specialties cookie today. It was OK.... but I don't think I could say best cookie ever. Sorry, Dan.
Ha! Me have parenting advice? That's a laugh.
That's a tough one, but don't beat yourself up. I'd sit her down, apologize, and try to explain. Mommy wouldn't have been so upset if you hadn't told a fib and told Mommy you played with the presents and hid them. Focus on the telling of the truth next time so she can try to understand why you reacted the way you did. It might help if you tell her a story of what if Abigail took her presents and played with/hid them so she couldn't get them on her birthday? Addy, would you be upset if you got no presents on your birthday? Matty tends to understand stories that directly involve himself.
Its hard to understand what's going in and out upstairs in their heads sometimes when you have conversations with your kids, but keep trying. She'll hear you and one day your hard work and good parenting will shine through in her :) Good luck!
isn't it amazing what your kids will say if you merely suggest something happened? we've been struggling with the whole telling the truth concept. it's a big thing to wrap your mind around, if you think about it. i'm not sure if lexi really knows what "truth" means...so i guess that if i have any advice, it's to try and explain in whatever way possible what telling the truth means and why it's important....
I know this probably wont make you feel better..but...I'm reading a book written by a child psychologist about different cases & how different ages process info differently...He said..up until about age 8(coinsidence? I think not) that kids tend to blame themselves for things that happen around them..Sissy is sick cuz i wouldnt share..moms late because i spilled my milk,and the classic divorce issues.So addy probably reemembers wanting to play with them soooooo bad that it must be her fault they're missing.Just talk to her,acknowledge that you know how badly she wanted to play with them.And how proud you were that she didnt touch them. Tell her you made a mistake & are sorry.Hug n kiss your lil' doll & call it a day. Don't worry,theres going to be more times to use you're mommy guilt. You're a great mom Ela.
Posted by Heidi:
You are so cute Ang. i can only imagine how angry you must have been!
Its funny, I asked Hailey what she thought the consequence should be
if something like that were to happen and she said that Abigal should
be allowed to pick a toy from Addie of her choice and that would a
good consequence. Also, if Addie cares about money, then have her do
some chores to earn the money to buy Abigal a birthday present.
There are many things to do, but I agree with Hailey on these
suggestions. By the way, Hailey would love to send a card and small
present to Abigal...is there anything that she loves that we should send?
OH, I just saw the end of the email...so scrap the other
advice...however, I would not assume that Addie did not know what you
were talking about...I think that our kids do best when they are
approached with the true...just be true...no biggy! I promise! I tried
to call you tonight, but no answer!! Love Ya!
Post a Comment